What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Stay At Home Mom

I quit my job. My real job. You know the one where you go everyday or multiple times a week and do work and then get paid? Yeah, that one. It’s been almost 2 years since I did that but there are still some days that it feels like it was yesterday. When I first decided to quit my job I had all sorts of expectations as to what I’d do all day, how I’d feel, what kind of Mom I would be, how clean my house would be … well, you get the point, right?

Deciding to quit my Registered Nurse career and stay at home with my kids wasn’t an easy decision. If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t love my job, but I liked my income. Once upon a time, quite some time ago, in the early stages of my career, I would have told you that I loved my job. I didn’t have kids and I went to work and came home, had a few days off and then I went to work again a couple of days later and I didn’t think twice. I loved the people that I worked with and I loved the people that I cared for and their families. And then I had kids.

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5 Things You Need to Know Before Joining an MLM

I know you’ve thought about it.

Let me first start off by saying that I’m not anti-MLM. In fact, I have several friends who are ‘building their empires’ and I couldn’t be happier for them. But, it’s not one size fits all.

It seems like everyone has either joined an MLM or is thinking about joining one. It’s crazy how popular MLM’s have become in recent years. If you’re a Momma, you’ve probably thought about it as a way to earn some extra income so you can either work less or stay at home with your kids full time. But, before you jump ship and go all in, there are some things that you should consider. And, let’s be honest — the person that is recruiting you to join may not disclose this information to you.

1. You’ll have to love what you sell.

There I said it. You have to love what you sell. I mean, really, truly love it. If you don’t, people will question your motives right from the get go. Trust me, people can see right through you if you don’t believe that your product is the best out there. You’ll have to be ready to convince other people that your product or service is the best and they will need to have it. If you’re not able to love what you sell wholeheartedly then you shouldn’t be selling it. Period. End of story. If you have any hesitations on this aspect, hold the train. You’ll regret it later if you jump in now.

2. You’re going to annoy your friends.

The MLM that I was a part of told me that one of the first things I should do to be successful was to make a list of 100 friends and hit them up first. Don’t worry, they said, they won’t be annoyed because you’re their friend. I hated this part. I felt so scuzzy doing this and I’m sure I annoyed more than one person along the way. If I did this to you, please forgive me. The other thing they told me was to go for 100 no’s because the more no’s I got, the more yes’s I would get and that would turn into sales. Ugh. Awful. Again, I’m sorry. It’s true what they say, when you know better you do better. So here I am knowing better and trying to do better.

3. You’ll spend a lot of your own money.

Be a product of the product they said and people will see how great the products work and they’ll come to you wanting to try too. Truth be told, I bought into this for a while. And, when I say I bought into this I mean this quite literally. At one point I was spending close to $300 per month on being a ‘product of the product’.

Signing up my husband was one of the first things I did because signing two people under me meant I went up in rank and gave myself a promotion. But, in the long run that just meant I had to have one more auto-ship item coming to my home every month. And that just means more money going out the door. I won’t try and tell you that I didn’t get anything from this; but I will tell you that even though I was consuming the product I was paying for it (at a discount). However, the reason that I signed up in the first place was to make money so my family and I could live a little more comfortably after quitting my job.

This is just my experience with the MLM that I was a part of. I can’t speak for other companies, so if you’re going to join a company, make sure you do your research. Find out if there is a minimal amount that you have to spend each month in order to “qualify” to earn a paycheque. What I’m saying is that you should keep your eyes open and ask lots of questions.

4. You’ll have to sacrifice time with your loved ones to get the job done.

I’ll admit that when I first started, I grossly underestimated the time it would take to ‘build my empire’. I had watched others above me build their businesses in what seemed like an effortless fashion and I thought, hey, that looks relatively easy. It wasn’t. I soon began to realize that I had to be willing to sacrifice time and experiences with my loved ones in order to get there. Again, this was true for my experience and it may not apply to all MLM’s but it certainly did to mine. I would get up early, before my kids were up to do an hour of work and I would stay up later to get work done after they went to bed. And, there were also countless hours during the day where I was glued to my phone, trying to get everything done.

When I first signed up I decided to ‘go all in’. I really, really wanted to make money for my family. There are so many sacrifices to make when you have four kids and are down to one income. I desperately wanted to stay at home with them, but I also wanted the opportunity to continue to contribute financially to our household. So, I worked my tail off to try and make things work and it put a lot of strain on our family. There were a lot of times that I wasn’t present when I should have been. I spent a lot of time multitasking when I should have just given my kids my undivided attention.

My relationship with my husband shifted because I was devoting so much time to this new side hustle and was not present with him when we were having conversations or out doing things. I know what you’re thinking; I can do it differently. Maybe you can. Just be aware that all those people who are at the top of their businesses didn’t get there by accident. They’ve worked hard and they’ve probably had to sacrifice a lot of their personal time to get there. Maybe you can do it, but what are you willing to sacrifice to get there?

5. You’ll have to have thick skin.

I’ve heard the saying so many times “comparison is the thief of joy.” This is unbelievably true. In an MLM, you will spend so much of your time meeting other people. They’ll want to build businesses and some of them will be successful. Some of them won’t. The ones who are wildly successful in their business will stand out. I can guarantee you that you will compare yourself to them. It’s the MLM way. It’s meant to inspire you to sell more, do more and rank up. Seeing other people having success made me happy for them, but it also made me feel small and inadequate.

I know this one is on me completely, but I had to work exceptionally hard to not let this bother me. I was spinning my wheels and I worked really hard to try make things work. The harder I worked the more I would beat myself up about not hitting a certain rank or not missing a bonus. That feeling was awful. It completely affected my mindset.

Right now, there are so many people starting a side hustle. I get the appeal. It’s certainly attractive to be able to spend more time at home while still making some money to contribute financially to your household. And, I am not anti-MLM. I have good friends who are doing really well in their businesses and I personally support a lot of them because I enjoy their products. So, if you’re going to choose to be a part of an MLM or a direct sales company, please, just do your research. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. I realize that my experience is just my experience, but don’t head into something believing that you’re going to be successful without putting in a lot of effort.

And, please, don’t let the hustle ruin your happiness.

Hustle. It's a buzz word these days, isn't it? I hear it everywhere. And, I despise it. I'm a Mom and I've heard…

Posted by Happy & Healthy Life Project on Friday, April 5, 2019


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Save the Judgement

Every toddlers dream — every Mama’s nightmare.

Dear Stay At Home Mom,

If I showed you something would you judge me? I mean really, from one Momma to another, could you honestly say you wouldn’t have a little judgement of my ability to care for and keep up with my household if you looked at this photo?

This was my day in a nutshell. I’ve had a day where I go from one room to the next, picking up a disaster left by my twins. I shipped my other two kids off to school early this morning and so they’ve had no part in this.

My living room floor was a disaster by about noon today. You see, I had taken about 20 minutes to pick up all the toys downstairs and vacuum all the crushed up Cheerios out of the carpet and picked out all old raisins that were smooshed into the fibres. All the while I thought my boys were playing puzzles upstairs; little did I know that they had other ideas. They totally destroyed the game closet and spread it from one end of the living room to the other. When I finished vacuuming, I ran upstairs to make them lunch and I promptly saw what they had done. I’m going to be honest, my blood was boiling.

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Dear Husband,

We’ve been married almost 15 years and I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Never could I have imagined the life that we have together. There’s so much between us. And, there’s so much more to come.

We are in the stage of life where friends are separating — marriages are ending. I look at us and I am reminded that it isn’t always roses and sunshine, but our life?  Our life has been pretty darn exceptional. There are moments when I wonder what life would have been like had I not met you and frankly, I can’t imagine it any other way.

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These Days of Chaos

 

I sit alone in the dark. It’s not often I get these moments.

Alone.

Quiet.

My life is filled with utter chaos most days and getting any time to bask in the quiet of the day is unheard of. But, yet, I sit here and I can’t quite put my finger on what it would be like to live without that chaos. The noise. The laughter. The squabbles between siblings. The tears and the love. I hope and I pray that when my babes are grown and the noise comes to an end that I will remember these days of chaos. These days when I longed to be still and quiet will seem like a lifetime away.

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