Save the Judgement

Every toddlers dream — every Mama’s nightmare.

Dear Stay At Home Mom,

If I showed you something would you judge me? I mean really, from one Momma to another, could you honestly say you wouldn’t have a little judgement of my ability to care for and keep up with my household if you looked at this photo?

This was my day in a nutshell. I’ve had a day where I go from one room to the next, picking up a disaster left by my twins. I shipped my other two kids off to school early this morning and so they’ve had no part in this.

My living room floor was a disaster by about noon today. You see, I had taken about 20 minutes to pick up all the toys downstairs and vacuum all the crushed up Cheerios out of the carpet and picked out all old raisins that were smooshed into the fibres. All the while I thought my boys were playing puzzles upstairs; little did I know that they had other ideas. They totally destroyed the game closet and spread it from one end of the living room to the other. When I finished vacuuming, I ran upstairs to make them lunch and I promptly saw what they had done. I’m going to be honest, my blood was boiling.

Didn’t they understand what I had just done?

I mean, I had just cleaned up all their toys and vacuumed up their Cheerios from the floor. I’d spent time picking out the old raisins from the carpet while on my hands and knees.

Why couldn’t they understand that I was trying to get my house in order?

Why couldn’t they just see my frustration?

Why couldn’t they see my longing for a clean house?

When I first decided to quit my ‘real’ job and stay at home full time I had several myths of what being a stay at home Mom was. Firstly, I thought I would have my house in perfect shape all of the time. Secondly, I’d never be late for anything. Neither of those is true even after being at home full time stay at home for nearly two years. Most days my house looks like a bomb went off and I’m when I’m on time for something it’s nothing short of a miracle.

You know what the real irony of the whole situation is? The irony is that when I contemplated quitting my job, I was worried that people would think I was LAZY!

LAZY!?

Uh, silly I know!

I used to care what other people thought about me. I used to let other peoples opinions decide my choices. What I now realize is that it doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what I think. What matters is what my family thinks. I know that my floor looks like this because instead of worrying about cleaning it up I’ve been reading books with my twins or maybe I’ve been helping my older two kids with their homework. Perhaps I’ve been cleaning the bathroom, doing the dishes, folding the giant piles of laundry or many of the other seemingly meaningless tasks that take up most of my day. Or, maybe, just maybe, I’ve taken a Mommy time out and sat on the couch to relish in amazingness of being a Stay at Home Mom. I know that not everyone has this amazing opportunity and I am so grateful for it.

So, Momma, if you’re judging me by the state of my living room floor I’ll have to say we can’t be friends. The truth is I’m a pretty an amazing Mom to my kids. Actually, I’d like to think I’m one of the best. And, if you’re asking me, I’d say there isn’t a BETTER job out there.

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